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Yarbrough: Science fiction under the Gold Dome

While you and I have been tending to the mundane matters of life such as filing our taxes and paying our bills, members of the General Assembly have been watching too many science-fiction movies.

Sen. Chip Pearson, R-Dawsonville, aided by Senate Majority Leader Chip Rogers, R-Woodstock, recently pushed a bill through the state Senate making it illegal to implant microchips or tracking devices into an individual without their permission. Eat your heart out, Alabama.

Pearson admits he knows of no case in which there has been a complaint made about such a dastardly act, nor has he met anyone who has had a microchip disguised as a zit installed on his or her forehead. But he decided that with the state's budget problems under control, transportation issues resolved, teacher morale higher than Brasstown Bald, ethics issues nonexistent and no immediate threat of a Martian invasion, this would be as good a time as any to solve a problem that doesn't exist.

The bill passed the Senate 47-2 with Lt. Gov. Casey Cagle presiding while dressed as Mr. Spock.

Rogers was ecstatic at the overwhelming support of his colleagues and was seen running up and down the halls at the Capitol yelling, "I am Mork from Ork. Nanu-nanu!"

The measure now goes to the House, where it will be combined with a bill prohibiting senators from wasting everybody's time with stupid stuff that has all the relevance of an earthworm.

At the risk of appearing not to appreciate the bold action taken by our forward-thinking solons, I must admit that I'm not necessarily opposed to sticking a little beeper here and there on some miscellaneous body parts. I'd start with the legislators themselves. We could plant the little sucker in the middle of their egos and they'd never know it was there.

I don't know about you, but I'd rest easier if I knew somebody or something was watching them. They can get into mischief if left to their own devices.

I hope to get one placed on the Woman Who Shares My Name, too.

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